Confession: Friendships

Contrary to what other people believe, I do not make friends easily. Some people think that socializing for me is simple as 1 + 1 but I tell you, it’s not.

It’s actually ‘what is the derivative of 487 to an English major’ (PS I am now taking up English hahaha) level of difficulty. I think of what to say, it takes me at least 2 minutes to think since it depends on what the person looks like and at least six times to practice it in my head. Lastly, if I can actually follow through (That’s basketball lingo for you!) When I’m about to say it though, these are the common things I think about–

“Will I sound stupid?”

“Will I look stupid?”

“Am I stupid for doing this?”

“What if s/he doesn’t want to be friends with me?”

“Do I look okay?”

“Is this the right time to make friends?”

“Why am I taking so long inside my head?”

I remember one time, when I was a freshman in St. Paul, I sat inside my classroom with no one to talk to, no friends whatsoever then I was suddenly sitting beside a pretty girl (charaught! I forgot how I ended up sitting with Bunts. Hi, Roxanne!! AdHoc soon!!! :>) Inside my head, my brain was searching for files on how to communicate and socialize–I decided to count to three and introduce myself. We ended up turning to face each other at the same time and surprising ourselves. One of the best moments in my whole stay in St. Paul (that’s a lot to say I’ve studied there for 4 years!). In the end, she stayed one of my friends in high school.

In college though, I have realized that I should initiate any form of communication for friendship because they’re important (but not too important.) because you’ll more likely to need a companion for the rest of your stay in your university.


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